This is a very good and important question! Thanks for asking it. I pray this answer will be helpful to you in understanding God's revelation on this applicable point.
You should know that our
feelings are little to no indication of our true spiritual status before God. In fact, our feelings can be very deceptive (
Jeremiah 10:23;
Proverbs 14:12). As illustration of this point, please consider that the Old Testament contains many examples of people who
genuinely felt they were doing God's will, but they could
not have been further from the truth. (God intended us to learn from these examples -
I Corinthians 10:6-12;
Romans 15:4.) Some of these examples include: Nadab and Abihu (
Leviticus 10:1-3), Saul (
I Samuel 15:22-23), Uzzah (
Numbers 4:5-6, 15; II Samuel 6:3-9; I Chronicles 15:2, 13, 15), Uzziah (
II Chronicles 26:3-5, 15-21). Probably one of the more notable examples left for us was the apostle Paul. Before he became a Christian, he persecuted them - even putting them to death (
Acts 26:9-11)! Yet, the whole time, his conscience never warned him (
Acts 23:1). He felt pretty good, even though he was committing
heinous sin, simply because he had not been taught any better (
I Timothy 1:13-16)! While we are on this topic, please consider the Christians who were being persecuted, torn from their families, and even executed by Saul: Do you think they
felt happy? Probably not, but yet Jesus said,
"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you ... Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven" (
Matthew 5:10-12). So, from these passages, we learn that we can
feel good, even while sinning profoundly. Moreover, we may
feel bad, even though our Father is thrilled with us! Therefore, we see that our feelings do not necessarily reflect our true spiritual condition. Furthermore, Jesus recommends we bring our feelings
in line with our spiritual condition (
Matthew 5:10-12; 6:25-34). Therefore, we are to make our feelings follow our salvation, not the other way around. (Admittedly, it is easier to say than do, but that is our goal.
If our feelings do not indicate our true spiritual status, then what does? The book of
I John answers this question. Please consider the following (somewhat lengthy but essential) compendium of verses:
- "Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him." (I John 2:3-5)
- "We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?" (I John 3:14-17)
- "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.... Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us." (I John 3:18-24)
- "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. ... They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error." (I John 4:1-6 compare with I John 1:1-4)
- "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love." (I John 4:7-8)
- "Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world -- our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" (I John 5:1-5)
- "And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God." (I John 5:11-13 compare with I John 1:3-4)
There are many profound truths buried in these passages, most of which I must gloss over for the sake of brevity, so please allow me to simplify these passages in application to your question as follows: The apostle John list the following personal attributes, which give us assurance of our eternal salvation:
- obedience to the truth, God's commandments (see also Matthew 7:21-23)
- selfless love of our brethren (sacrificial love, not merely an emotional response - I Corinthians 13:1-ff)
- recognition and acceptance of Jesus' teaching given through His apostles and prophets -> The Bible ("He who knows God hears us"; compare with I Corinthians 2:10-16; 14:37-38; Ephesians 3:3-5)
- faith in Jesus Christ!
Please note that John states the purpose for writing this letter was so that disciples would
know that they have eternal life! Therefore, these virtues
form the
God-given foundation for confidence in our relationship with God! Consequently, if we do not have these things, then the Bible offers us
no assurance. Therefore, we must now focus on these questions, which only you can answer at this point:
- Do you believe in God and Jesus as His Son?
- Have you accepted the Bible as God's truth?
- Are you obeying God's commandments, as expressed by His holy apostles and prophets in the Scriptures?
- Is your life manifesting this commitment through loving others, as God first loved us?
Many false teachers have gone out into the world, who express a popular plan of salvation that satisfies man's desires, but it is contrary with God's revealed will. Since I do not know much about your religious background, we should
first focus on the questions,
"Were you converted like the New Testament saints?" "Have you met God's requirements for salvation?" Please see this article for more detail:
http://www.insearchoftruth.org/articles/salvation.html
If you are struggling with assurance with your salvation, it may be because you sincerely believed and obeyed what men were teaching, instead of what God was teaching? Men's teaching will satisfy for a while, but God's truth will satisfy for eternity. Please don't be too upset, if that's what you have done. Like the persecutor Saul, who became the great apostle Paul,
we must both look to the future, not what lies behind us (
Philippians 3:13-17). We must repent and move forward, trusting in God to forgive as He has promised (
Hebrews 11:6).
What do you
think? Please take a look at the above article and get back with me. I look forward to hearing from you again.
May God bless us with a sincere love of the truth,
m273p15c
P.S., Did you catch that statement in
I John 3:18-19,
"For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things"? Sometimes we may be persuaded of our damnation, even though we are giving our utmost, diligent best to obey serve God. In such cases, God
may be very well pleased with us, even though we are convinced He feels otherwise. John assures us that God
"knows all things"; therefore, as is implied, He will save us when we do what's right, even if we feel we are somehow still unsatisfactory, even with the support of God's grace. God does not want us to live with that unnecessary fear. That is why this letter was written. I pray that this brief note highlights the spiritual benefit that God desired you to enjoy!
P.S. #2, Sometimes people ask this question in relation to the "sin against the Holy Spirit". I do not think you mentioned this, but if this somehow played into your concern, please let me know, and I will be glad to focus on a few passages regarding the "unforgivable sin".
P.S. #3, I know that that this contains a lot of Bible verses. I would encourage you to take your time, study each passage closely, meditate on them, and pray fervently. It could be that they contain the information that will change your life forever!